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 The Agonizer [Mini-Recaps and Articles]
 Movie Review: Stone Cold (1991)
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Albert
Webmaster

USA
3747 Posts

Posted - May 05 2008 :  8:38:15 PM  Show Profile  Visit Albert's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Post your comments here about this Agonizer article:
Movie Review: Stone Cold (1991)!


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Thegoon
Has more self respect than George Lucas

France
4237 Posts

Posted - May 05 2008 :  9:46:58 PM Report Spam/Abuse  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Just a few minutes ago I had a revolver to my head and was about to blow myself into the land of wind and ghosts...but then I saw the Stone Cold agonizer and I spared myself.

This review saved my life.

Come view my stupid blog:
http://thegoonstuff.blogspot.com/
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hecubus
Cadet

USA
2 Posts

Posted - May 05 2008 :  9:50:23 PM Report Spam/Abuse  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I saw this one at the theater when it first came out (I worked there, it was free, what the heck). The main thing I remember from the movie is kind of what you pointed out. The "hero" really didn't accomplish a hell of a lot. His girlfriend got killed, the DA got killed, and Huff's partner shot the main bad guy. It seemed like, most of the time, Bosworth just wandered on and off screen, and stuff happened.

Great recap!!
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Thegoon
Has more self respect than George Lucas

France
4237 Posts

Posted - May 05 2008 :  9:58:33 PM Report Spam/Abuse  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Yeah but he randomly shot people with a weird looking sci-fi shotgun.

"You look like the grown up version of Bam-Bam." William Forsythe speaks the truth always.

Come view my stupid blog:
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Romanadvoratrelundar
Commander

USA
141 Posts

Posted - May 05 2008 :  10:45:03 PM Report Spam/Abuse  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote :
Originally posted by Ed Harris
I'd also like to note the amusing DVD cover, which makes our redneck biker film look like a political thriller.


Also, the face on the cover looks (to me) like nothing so much as a really badassified Barney Rubble.

Having reached that brilliant conclusion, how about getting on with it?

What's wrong with being childish? I like being childish.
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Ed
The Once and Future Genrewriter

USA
2489 Posts

Posted - May 06 2008 :  12:03:22 AM Report Spam/Abuse  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Funny thing I just remembered from when the film came out. There was some Entertainment Tonight piece on the film and I recall Bosworth stating that his character was a good role model due to his not swearing at all in the movie.

A nice enough sentiment, though it is taken down a few notches by the very impressive body count he racks up during the course of the film.

Also, it looks like the video clip isn't working.

"How can the same thing happen to the same guy twice!"
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Xander
You want flies with that?

USA
1313 Posts

Posted - May 06 2008 :  1:15:16 PM Report Spam/Abuse  Show Profile  Visit Xander's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Wow. I'd never heard of this movie before, but I feel like I've seen it anyway.

Except for that helicopter bit. That was brilliant.

I could never sleep my way to the top because my alarm clock always wakes me right up.
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Premier Blah
is killing space bitches in heaven

Canada
4631 Posts

Posted - May 06 2008 :  2:49:21 PM Report Spam/Abuse  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Still, this is a more honorable role for Henrikson than being a Fungus King in Super Mario Bros.

"I've just found out that I have saboteurs in the tower! I still do not have the meteorite piece! I'm about to lose everything! We can talk about this later, if later even occurs!"
Clearly you all are not ready for space travel. I guess I'd better hang up my career as sci fact author.
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes.

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LaShawn
Ensign

USA
12 Posts

Posted - May 06 2008 :  5:46:26 PM Report Spam/Abuse  Show Profile  Visit LaShawn's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Wow...that motorcycle bit was amazing. I don't think it even *touched* the helicopter before it exploded.

Visit LaShawn at the Cafe in the Woods:
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JCDenton
Commander

Canada
172 Posts

Posted - May 06 2008 :  6:00:26 PM Report Spam/Abuse  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote :
Originally posted by LaShawn

Wow...that motorcycle bit was amazing. I don't think it even *touched* the helicopter before it exploded.


Judging from the size of the fireball, it wasn't the bike that caused the explosion but all the extra gas the heli was spontaneously carrying.

Eat, Drink, and be Merry, for Tomorrow, we Die.
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markm
Lt. Commander

USA
52 Posts

Posted - May 06 2008 :  7:43:44 PM Report Spam/Abuse  Show Profile  Visit markm's Homepage  Reply with Quote
My favorite part of the recap was this screencap caption:

quote :
"Pardon me, but do you have any Pabst Blue Ribbon?"


Very funny recap!

"Impropriety is the soul of wit." --Somerset Maugham
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stotto68
Captain

USA
255 Posts

Posted - May 06 2008 :  8:32:01 PM Report Spam/Abuse  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Stone Cold! Just another one of those movies I am forced to watch if it comes on. My face assuming the slack jawed lifeless expression of a zombie as I watch with rapt attention it's glorious shittiness, only being released from it's spell when the end credits roll. Great recap. Would there be a Tango & Cash recap lurking in the stagnant depths of late 80's action films?

I have solved every crime in the world as it happens from zero to start to finish for every crime done .
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scootermark
Commander

USA
111 Posts

Posted - May 07 2008 :  05:42:29 AM Report Spam/Abuse  Show Profile  Visit scootermark's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Check out the hilarious trailer, which has "Mr." Brian Bosworth talking about how misunderstood he is...

http://www.totaleclips.com/player/Splash.aspx?custid=9&clipid=e12229&playerid=38&affiliateid=scifi

Second Doctor: Brigadier, have I ever led you astray?
Brigadier: On many occasions.
Second Doctor: Yes, well, this will be the exception.

http://scifi.about.com
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